Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
/I’ve struggled for a long time with imposter syndrome.
If this is your first time hearing that term, imposter syndrome refers to the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills. In layman’s terms, it just means when you feel unqualified in pursuing something and are afraid you’re going to be labeled as a fraud. Even if it’s your first time hearing the term “imposter syndrome,” it’s likely that you’ve felt those feelings without knowing how to label it.
Whether it be in your career, relationship, faith walk, personal growth, health journey or parenting skills, imposter syndrome is crippling and can crater our confidence to move forward. I can positively make the assumption that imposter syndrome has killed more dreams, ideas, and callings than failure ever has.
The two main places I tend to experience imposter syndrome is in my career and in my faith.
For starters, as a female entrepreneur who recently launched a church consulting business, imposter syndrome is what kept me from launching for years. My thought life looked something like this:
“I’m under-qualified. Who am I to pursue this business when others with more experience are out there providing the same service?”
“I’m not anything special. What do I bring to the table that others don’t already?”
“I’m not going to be respected or taken seriously. I’m a millennial female who is marketing to an older generation of men. This is never going to work and I’m going to be discounted from the beginning.”
You can see where it would be easy to stay small and feel stuck in my reasons not to pursue something God placed on my heart.
Faith-wise, I’ve felt uncomfortable stepping out in Christian leadership roles in the past because I was afraid I’d be discounted for my past mistakes, failures, or present imperfections on my sanctification journey. While I have still stepped out to help start the Wheat and Honey Co. devotional blog and Bible studies and actively lead a table discussion for my church women’s ministry despite my insecurities, I always did so by actively calling myself out as imperfect or “not there yet” before anyone else could beat me to the punch. While that strategy helped create vulnerable spaces for others to feel welcome in their brokenness, it got to the point where God had to speak very clearly to me and say, “Enough. That chapter and that story has served its purpose, but it’s time to move on.” (Does anyone else love it when God blatantly calls you out on your BS? Lovingly blunt friends are the best friends.)
Only recently have I discovered that imposter syndrome is having less of a hold on my daily thought life and decisions, and I realize that there are some tools and tips that have helped me move past my insecurities and pursue leadership roles, ideas, and dreams with more confidence and grace for myself.
If you’ve ever struggled with or are currently fighting feelings of imposter syndrome, here are some ways to move forward and feeling more confident in yourself.
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Own that you’re not perfect.
The quicker you make peace with your lack of qualifications or beginner status, the less pressure you’ll feel. I thought imposter syndrome was something I’d outgrow or move on from, but we’re always going to be a beginner at something new. We’re not supposed to have it all figured out, and we shouldn’t pretend we do. One of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 12:9. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. Your imperfections and lack of qualifications are the key to allowing God’s strength to be displayed in your life. Your weakness is an opportunity, not a challenge. When we get comfortable with the uncomfortable fact that we’re not perfect, we’re telling God, “I need you. Show up and move here. I’ll humbly recognize that when you make this work, it will be all your doing, not mine.” To put it more clearly, I’ll quote Steven Furtick in his book (Un)Qualified: “God can’t use who you pretend to be.”
View everything as “an experiment.”
How often do you approach a situation thinking you have to get it right and succeed the first time you try? That new workout plan. The business service or product launch. The creative project you’re crafting. Rather than walking into a situation with the pressure that you can’t fail, what if you entered a space thinking of your idea or goal as an experiment? Experiments are meant to be tested. No one blames an experiment for not turning out perfect. They are expected to have to be adjusted. The experimenter takes all the working knowledge from previous attempts and applies it to future tests. No matter how we look at new situations or ideas in our lives, everything is an experiment. Success is in the eye of the beholder, so by looking at everything as an experiment, even a typical “failure” in the eyes of the world can be viewed by the experimenter as a successful representation of what doesn’t work and should, therefore, be adjusted.
Find a really good accountability group to speak life into you.
Let me start by saying I have really incredible friends. I’m not bragging, because I’ve worked really hard to be a good friend and to cultivate authentic, life-giving friendships in my life. I am also a part of a powerful church community group of women who meet once a week for Bible study and stay connected through an active group text. We jokingly labeled ourselves the “shame stoppers” because we make it a priority to call out each others’ shame-inducing arrows from Satan and replace them with love, truth, and reminders of our worth. Anytime I’m feeling overly anxious or insecure about a situation, I feel comfortable trusting that weight with these women, which has made the burden lighter as time has gone on. If you’re struggling with shame spirals, lies about yourself, or insecurities that you know aren’t productive, start seeking out an authentic community. Whether it be with one friend or a group you trust, you can start overcoming your imposter syndrome by bringing it to the light with others who will speak life into you and pray for your insecurities to be replaced with Christ’s confidence.
Surround yourself with resources and mentors who also talk about imposter syndrome.
It’s been said that two of the most powerful words in the English language are “Me Too.” There’s something about hearing someone’s vulnerable story that makes us resonate with them or their situation and feel less alone. We have more in common than we think, and when we’re open to it, we can grow in our journey by empathizing with others and learning from their story. Read books that talk about imposter syndrome and take the author’s takeaway to heart. Find your own lessons in their lessons-learned. I highly recommend the following books that helped me sigh a breath of relief that others also struggle with imposter syndrome and there’s hope in getting past it.
When we own our imperfections, view new opportunities as experiments, actively seek accountability and community, and surround ourselves with reminders that imposter syndrome can be overcome, we are setting ourselves up for a life lived with bravery and intention. I hope you’ve found some inspiration to move forward and pursue new ideas, overcome fear and shame, and replace your feelings of imposter syndrome with positive, confident self-talk.
I want to hear from you! Do you struggle with imposter syndrome? What has helped you overcome your feelings of disqualification or fraudulence? Share in the comments below.
Joyful Takeaway: Humbly embrace your weakness. God can’t use who you pretend to be.